No more coffee

New Year's two months away, but I'm already making a resolution.

I've been having these irritating stomach aches. Like there's an animal inside me trying to eat its way out. Or like I swallowed a knife and it's stabbing me every time I breathe.

It's the coffee. I'm sure of it.

Well, not only the coffee. It's probably the combination of drinking this vile substance and having to go out into the real world every morning and evening.

Home is safe. Work is safe. It's those pesky transitional phases that bother me. When you combine caffeine with traffic stress, apparently you get stomach aches.

So no more coffee, since that's easier to accomplish than no more traffic. I've switched to tea. Stress-relieving tea, at that.

It'll be hard, though. Asking for and drinking coffee is such a habit. When you go out, when you visit friends or family, at home after a hearty meal, in the morning when you need to wake yourself up ... Coffee is everywhere! How do you keep away from it?

I guess it's like people stopping with smoking. Or an alcoholic giving up the drink. A drug addict kicking off. Do they have coffee rehabs?