A message

Okay, I'm officially freaked out now.

I'm sitting here typing this, glancing every five seconds at the window and the door. I don't know what I'm expecting. I doubt anyone will repel down and smash through the window or bust through the door to hit me over the head and kidnap me and take to wherever.

I found something. A small and long piece of paper, letters cut from newspapers glued on. But they don't spell out anything. It's complete nonsense.

It was stuck under my windshield wipers. I almost didn't see it, but I had to stop at a gas station and that's when I noticed it.

What could it mean?

I have to keep reminding myself: this may all be a prank. Someone could be pulling my leg. Gullibility often leads to disappointment.

Ten days without coffee

I'm quite proud of myself, actually. But is it doing any good?

Frankly, I feel bad in the morning. I have this expecting taste in my mouth, a real craving for coffee. There's just no substitute to wake you up, to get those juices flowing.

I stopped drinking coffee because I was so nervous. Therefore I switched to stress relieving tea. But as far as I can tell, there are no noticeable changes.

With the latest developments, I feel even more jumpy than before.

Someone robbed the telecom store in our street. Laptops, cell phones, a total worth of seven thousand, all gone. They went through a side window without even damaging it.

Now usually I would shrug and say, "Shit happens." But there are just too many coincidences going on lately.

Logic tells me it can't be that silver van. It's impossible not to notice, with its running engine and blinding lights. Besides, the robbery was last week and the van is still there!

I followed it again yesterday and things were going very smooth. I didn't take my camera with me because I think trying to drive and film at the same time is exactly why I lost the van over and over again. It was going just like in the movies, with one or two cars in between us.

Then a truck pulled in. I had to slow down, lost track of the van and by the time I could speed up again the chase was over.

Still, I'm definitely getting better at this, so who knows?

I lost him again!

Man, I need some coffee ...

I think the hallucinations are really kicking in now. Once in a while I see these black shapes in the corner of my eye, as if some kind of bug is crawling on the wall? But when I look straight at it, nothing's there. It's freaking me out.

What's also creeping me out is that silver van. I'm getting sick of that guy. He was back this morning when I left the house, parked in that same spot. I had my camera with me but I chickened out. I didn't want to risk them seeing me filming them.

So I went to my car and waited till they left. Man, I couldn't keep up! Once we hit the freeway, he was outta there!

Anyway, some people suggested I tell the police, so I noted the make, model and license plate and mailed the info to local precinct. I haven't heard anything back yet.

I suck at tailing

When I left the house this morning, the van wasn't there. I went to my car and when I was about to leave, it turned into the street. I took the opportunity to get a closer look. I turned around myself so I could drive by while it was parked. I didn't see anyone getting in or out, nor did I get a good view of the driver. After a bend in the road I turned around again. The van had left but I could see it in the distance, turning onto the main road.

I hurried to catch up with it. Damn those speed bumps! When I reached the main road I had to wait for another car to pass before I could continue following the van. But that car was so slow I lost track of the van! Then the slow car took a left turn. I saw some lights in the distance but couldn't discern the shape of the vehicle. I took a gamble and sped up. Yes, it was the van!

I followed it for a while until it parked again. I drove by it and after a bend in the road I turned around again, but the van had already gone. I thought it might have gone toward the freeway, so hurried over there but I didn't see it anymore.

Paranoid, me?

I forgot to set the alarm clock last night.

I woke up at six thirty, which is fifteen minutes late. I scrambled out of bed, threw on some clothes, gathered my stuff and hurried out of the door.

That's why I forgot my camera.

I had planned to take a picture of that silver van I mentioned. But as I was walking down the stairs I thought, "Forget it, it's too late, that van's already gone. If it had been there in the first place."

Then I walked outside and what do you know, there it was!

It was fifteen minutes later than usual and still that van was standing there, lights on, engine running, driving away as soon as I reached my car.

Is it me, or is something funny going on?

Succumbed to temptation

They say the flesh is weak, but the mind can be weaker.

It was my sister in law's birthday last weekend so we went over there for some pie and, well, coffee.

I would've said no to the coffee if it had been made in the regular fashion. But of course things never go the way you want. Especially for the occassion they dug up this contraption from the '60s.

The way it works: you put water in the bottom bowl, coffee in the upper bowl. You put a candle under the bottom bowl, which boils the water, which then travels up through a tube into the upper bowl, where it mixes with the coffee. When all of the water has risen, you simply remove the candle and your beverage simply drops back into the bottom bowl from which you can pour it into the cups.

So how can you say no to coffee after such a display?

Strange van

I don't know whether I should be writing this, because it could just be me going crazy from my coffee "break". Yet it's only been one day, which is a bit early for hallucinations.

For three mornings in a row now, when I left the house for work, there was this silver van parked a few spaces up the road, headlights on, engine running, apparently waiting for something or someone.

It might be a coincidence, but each time I stepped into my car, the van pulled out and drove off.

It always drove in the same direction I have to go, so I could follow it until we reached the freeway. Then I lost track of it, since I'm one of the few people still respecting speed limits.

I'm thinking of following the van the next time and see which exit it takes.

No more coffee

New Year's two months away, but I'm already making a resolution.

I've been having these irritating stomach aches. Like there's an animal inside me trying to eat its way out. Or like I swallowed a knife and it's stabbing me every time I breathe.

It's the coffee. I'm sure of it.

Well, not only the coffee. It's probably the combination of drinking this vile substance and having to go out into the real world every morning and evening.

Home is safe. Work is safe. It's those pesky transitional phases that bother me. When you combine caffeine with traffic stress, apparently you get stomach aches.

So no more coffee, since that's easier to accomplish than no more traffic. I've switched to tea. Stress-relieving tea, at that.

It'll be hard, though. Asking for and drinking coffee is such a habit. When you go out, when you visit friends or family, at home after a hearty meal, in the morning when you need to wake yourself up ... Coffee is everywhere! How do you keep away from it?

I guess it's like people stopping with smoking. Or an alcoholic giving up the drink. A drug addict kicking off. Do they have coffee rehabs?

The night sky

Nothing I miss more than the view of the stars.

Many years ago I sat in a lounger in our backyard with my mom, gazing up in anticipation of the annual meteor shower in mid-August, the Perseids.

No meteor shower when I went back home last night, but all those stars just sitting there high above, shining bright ... It did something to me.

It must've been at least six months since I last saw the stars like that.

I moved to the city. Too much artificial light to see the stars. When nature succeeds in making you halt all your actions and simply stand there to take it all in, you realize how petty all our luxurious worries are, how hard we strive for all the wrong things.

I need to remember to return to our old backyard once in a while so I don't forget that.

Childhood

I cried on my first day of preschool.

You're dragged from the safety of your home, you're forced inside an unfamiliar environment, you're faced with strangers and who knows what they are capable of.

Preschool is the foundation of how you approach new relationships in the future. It taught me that you don't get to choose who you meet, thus it's better to give everyone a chance than make a fuss about them before you really get to know them.

If you spend enough time with them and they still turn out to be bastards, then at least you know for sure. Be wary of all prejudice.